Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
