They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
