She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
