I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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