This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize