I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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