This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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