would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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