As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
