you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
