is wine microwaveable?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
