Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
