Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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