girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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