Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
