I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
