I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
