Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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