I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
