i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
