Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
