just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
