dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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