Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
