the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
