You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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