You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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