Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
