About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
