Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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