Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
