Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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