i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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