my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i've created a new STD.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All the doctor said was why
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
