You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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