absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
