it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
