Don't you send me to vm
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
