i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
