did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
