dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
