Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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