I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
