please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
