I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Be still, my beating vagina.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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