i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
