The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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