All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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