Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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