Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
