didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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