bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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