i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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