my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize