I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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