There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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