I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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