Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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