it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
