lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
