i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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