After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
