Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
