Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize