wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
