My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
