Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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