Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
